FAQ

What is compassionate separation?

Compassionate separation supports you to manage your separation in a positive, clear and well-intentioned way to enable you to make informed and life-affirming choices.

Why should I separate compassionately?

Separation and divorce are in the top three life stressors. For many this is an emotionally overwhelming and confusing time. If you are supported to approach separation with awareness, kindness and fairness, you will be able to make conscious and appropriate choices and rebuild your life confidently and constructively.

What is mediation?

In mediation I help you and your family members listen to each other and make informed choices. You both meet with the mediator separately before mediation to tell your story, for the mediator to see if mediation is right for you, and to prepare for mediation.

How long will mediation take?

The length of time to starting a mediation meeting depends on how many and how complex are the decisions you need to make. A mediation can be organised in a few weeks if you are both agreeable, have met with the mediator at least twice before the mediation, and all relevant information is available.

What is separation coaching?

Separation coaching occurs in a meeting with you face to face, online or on the phone to support you to understand and manage the emotional and practical impact of your separation in a clear, constructive and mindful way.

What is collaborative practice?

Collaborative Practice is a five-way process where you and your ex-partner are supported by a team of professionals to jointly and respectfully make your own choices about how to share your property and children’s care. I am the coach in the collaborative practice model, and work with you both and your collaboratively trained lawyers, and other collaboratively trained professionals if needed, to help you to make the best choices for your family.

How long will collaborative practice take?

The length of time of a collaborative practice processes depends on the number and complexity of the decisions you need to make. There are generally three five-way meetings, spaced over several weeks. You will often meet with your lawyers before and after these meetings, and sometimes other professionals. The time will vary for each separation.

Are children involved?

Children are not directly involved in mediation, coaching or collaborative practice. However, I will support you to make choices that are in your children’s best interests. Often it can help you make those choices if you can hear how it the separation has been for your kids. To enable this, your children may meet with a child consultant if you both agree.

How much does it cost?

Fees for mediation, coaching and collaborative practice are fixed and paid by each person prior to any meetings. Call me to talk about fees.

Do I need to see a lawyer?

It is wise to understand your legal rights and responsibilities after separation. This can help you to make informed choices. I recommend that you get legal advice before making final decisions. I am a family lawyer and can give both of you legal information, but cannot give you legal advice. I suggest you get advice from a Family Law Accredited Specialist: search the Law Society of NSW.

Do I need to go to court?

No. You can make your own choices about your life after separation. Most separating people do. As a family mediator (FDRP) I must encourage you to make decisions about your children’s care that are in your children’s best interests. If you are dividing property you may ask a court to make consent orders to avoid stamp duty and to enforce the agreement. Consent orders do not necessarily require you to attend court